You know those weddings where everyone’s taking side bets on how long the marriage will last? That could have been me. I was once engaged to a very nice guy who couldn’t have been more wrong for me. I knew he’d be a great husband and a great father, but as hard as I tried, I just wasn’t in love with him. When he asked me to marry him, I said yes because I didn’t know how to say no.
I almost went through with it, but I somehow found the strength to break it off. I was afraid my family and friends would be disappointed or angry. Instead, they were happy for me. It turned out I wasn’t the only one who knew it wasn’t right: everyone else knew it too.
“When it’s right, you’ll just know,” my good friend Ann told me.I didn’t believe her. I’d dated plenty, but nothing ever felt “right.”
“I’ll never ‘just know’,” I thought. “There will always be that nagging voice inside telling me something is wrong.”
When I met my husband, I knew Ann was right. I was 35. He was 25 and didn’t meet any of my criteria, but it all just clicked. I walked down the aisle madly in love and without a hint of that tiny voice I’d expected. I couldn’t be happier today.
Many of our friends tell us that ours was the best wedding they’ve ever been to. Sure, the open bar helped. But the fact that it was so right–and everyone knew it–was what really made the difference.
Before you take the plunge, ask yourself if it’s right. If not, you’re not fooling anyone. Your friends and family all know it too. Find the strength to call it off. Good friends and family will support you. And remember, when it’s right, you’ll just know.